What Matters Most

When I said my prayers last night, I forced myself to give thanks for liquor and lice.

Yes, liquor and lice; indisputably the two greatest challenges of my weekend.

I had discovered on Friday that my 17-year-old son had recently gotten drunk with his high school buddies. But before the disappointment and incense from his lapse in judgment even had a chance to sink in, my 6-year-old came home from kindergarten with bugs in her braids.

As a result, it had been a very long and taxing weekend, made exponentially worse by the fact that my husband was out of town for four days.

So alone, I reprimanded my son for his indiscretion, arguing across the kitchen island with this 6’4” man-child as he ridiculously reminded me that he will soon be 18 — and “an adult” capable of making his own decisions. I mulled over potential punishments and consequences. Mostly, I wallowed in despondency while struggling to pinpoint where I had gone astray in my parenting.

And alone, I attempted to eradicate our uninvited creepy-crawly infestation — shelling out $60 in lice treatment shampoo, repellant spray and new brushes. I painstaking pulled a miniscule comb through my daughter’s thick tresses in search of microscopic eggs. I washed load after endless-freaking-load of towels, sheets and clothing, then bagged pillows and comforters and stuffed animals, exiling them to a two-week-long quarantine in the garage. I vacuumed and scrubbed and cussed under my breath —all the while unable to stop scratching my head and scanning the mirror for traces of life on my own scalp.

And so on Sunday night, as I collapsed in bed— brooding and bitter and utterly exhausted — for a split second I thought to myself, I wouldn’t wish this weekend on anyone.

But just as quickly, I realized that wasn’t true.

I would wish it on Parker’s parents.

A year ago, my daughter’s 6-year-old friend was diagnosed with diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma (DIPG), a childhood brain stem cancer with a survival rate of less than 1 percent, and a median life expectancy of just 9 months past diagnosis. Parker’s inoperable tumor has stolen his ability to walk, claimed the mobility in his right arm, and left his speech muffled at best. Yet his brain activity remains unchanged. Essentially trapped within his own body, which refuses to perform as asked, he battles on with a determination and courage that will simultaneously break your heart and leave you in awe.

And then there’s the incomprehensible resiliency of his parents, who have taken leaves of absence from their jobs, logged thousands of miles flying cross-country for trials and treatments not covered by insurance, and endured a rollercoaster ride of pain, hope, despair and helplessness that most of us, thankfully, cannot even fathom.

The gravity, the magnitude of it all, swiftly slaps my own trials — liquor and lice — into proper perspective.

I know, with absolute certainty, that Parker’s parents would give anything for the privilege of facing my weekend woes. They would welcome the opportunity to ground a teenage Parker for underage drinking. They would rejoice in annihilating lice from a 4th grade Parker’s mess of blond hair. None of those struggles could cast the slightest shadow on the pure joy they would possess if only to be granted this precious parenting time.

The bane of my weekend would be their bliss.

All of us deep in the trenches of parenting understand that it can be exasperating, grueling work. And there are moments — at every stage, from toddler to teen —when it just plain sucks. Days you spend 2 ½ hours plucking lice from your daughter’s waist-length hair, only to discover the bugs are resistant to over-the-counter Nix. Nights you lay awake agonizing about whether your teenage son will make the right choices, if you have instilled in him the proper values, if he will stay safe. Weekends you pray for nothing more than the wisdom and the strength and the capacity to get this parenting gig right.

But the alternative to mucking through these unpleasant interludes — the unsavory gifts that Parker’s parents will never have the chance to experience with him — is unthinkable.

Sometimes what matters most is simply perspective.

And so last night, I compelled myself to appreciate — to be thankful for — liquor and lice. With a little luck, and a lot of attention, both ailments will likely pass. Almost certainly, they will be replaced by new snags, which in turn will give way to yet another stitch in this vast tapestry we call parenting.

But when I falter under the weight of it all, I can’t help but be inspired by the unwavering bravery and determination of a 6-year-old little boy. And I can’t help but remind myself of the fierce love of his parents, who would give anything for the prospect to experience —with him —weekends of liquor and lice.

84 thoughts on “What Matters Most”

  1. Very useful read. I wasn’t expecting such a thorough breakdown, and the examples helped a lot. It’s the kind of reference I look for when checking details, the same way I use my MZPlay notes. Thanks for taking the time to put this together.

  2. This is exactly what I needed today. Clear, practical, and straight to the point. I’ll definitely come back to this page for reference, just like I do with my saved MZPlay page.

  3. Thanks for this, really clear and helpful. I’ve been looking for a solid write-up like this for a while, and the way you explained it makes it easy to follow. It reminded me of my own reference notes on MZPlay, which I keep coming back to. Bookmarked for later.

  4. Замучили громкие рекомендации, которые не
    работают на практике? Мой подход отличается: делюсь только проверенными советами, рабочими схемами и эффективными алгоритмами для планирования маршрутов.

    Я придерживаюсь простой идеи: успешное путешествие
    строится не на удаче, а на расчёте.
    Транспорт, жильё, защита и маршрут — всё это реально оптимизировать.
    Я научу вас выбирать оптимальные решения, чтобы поездка приносила впечатления, а не финансовые проблемы.

    Здесь вы не найдёте бесполезной теории — только конкретные знания, помогающие путешествовать уверенно и спокойно.
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  5. Замучили громкие рекомендации,
    которые не работают на практике?
    Мой подход отличается: делюсь только проверенными советами,
    рабочими схемами и эффективными
    алгоритмами для планирования маршрутов.

    Я придерживаюсь простой идеи:
    успешное путешествие строится не на удаче, а на расчёте.
    Транспорт, жильё, защита и маршрут — всё это
    реально оптимизировать. Я научу вас выбирать оптимальные решения, чтобы поездка приносила впечатления, а не финансовые проблемы.

    Здесь вы не найдёте бесполезной теории — только конкретные
    знания, помогающие путешествовать уверенно и спокойно.
    Направления туров https://t.me/tripkarta

  6. Solid write-up, thanks for sharing. It’s rare to find content this well organized on the subject, and I found a few things here that I hadn’t considered before.

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  9. Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.

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  13. Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.

  14. Thanks for this one. I’ve saved it for later because I know I’ll want to refer back to it — the kind of post that actually answers the questions people ask.

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  18. Very useful read. I wasn’t expecting such a thorough breakdown, and the examples helped a lot. Thanks for taking the time to put this together.

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  23. Thanks for this one. I’ve saved it for later because I know I’ll want to refer back to it — the kind of post that actually answers the questions people ask.

  24. Great article. I appreciate how detailed this is — most posts on this topic just skim the surface, but this one actually covers the important points. Will be sharing it with a couple of people.

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  27. Very useful read. I wasn’t expecting such a thorough breakdown, and the examples helped a lot. Thanks for taking the time to put this together.

  28. Really enjoyed reading this. The way you structured it makes the whole topic much easier to understand, and it’s clear you know what you’re talking about.

  29. Nice work on this one. I found the structure especially useful, and the details are easy to check. I like to keep a few trusted references handy, and this post just joined the list.

  30. Thanks for this, really clear and helpful. I’ve been looking for a solid write-up like this for a while, and the way you explained it makes it easy to follow. Bookmarked for later.

  31. Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.

  32. Thanks for this one. I’ve saved it for later because I know I’ll want to refer back to it — the kind of post that actually answers the questions people ask.

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