Note: Please ingest your sarcasm pill prior to reading.
Oh Facebook Friends, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways … I love you first thing in the morning, and at the end of a long day. While on conference calls. At baseball practice. In the bathroom, before my toddler bursts in. Even while I pause at a red light.
But please, can I make just one little request? (Or 25, if we’re counting.) I would be immeasurably grateful if we could just shake our collective social media hands and agree to refrain from:
1. The busy day post. Otherwise known as your To-Do List. Let’s face it, we all have kids. We all have jobs. We all, at one time or another, are forced to descend into the 10th circle of hell known as Walmart. In other words, we all have crap to do! Do you not understand that if you have time to document online how busy you are, you clearly have too much time on your hands?
2. Vague statements. There’s nothing like this elusively unclear post to get everyone’s Facebook panties in a wad. Every friend gleans her own interpretation: “What does she mean by that?” “Is she referring to me?” “Was she arrested?” Here’s the thing about vague posters: they are shameless attention seekers. They’re passive-aggressively begging for an onslaught of oh-so-concerned “What happened???!!!” and “Hope you’re ok!! Love you!!” replies. Please, get a therapist.
3. Fights. Reading this type of post makes you feel a bit voyeuristic, like you just unintentionally hijacked an episode of the Real Housewives of Facebook. For instance, popping up in my feed today: “Telling me you’re out of town for work as the reason you can’t do something, but then posting on Facebook that you’ll be attending an event in town on the same night… classy!” Ooooh, somebody is busted!
4. Feet. We understand that you’re lounging on some beautiful beach in the Caribbean, but there’s no faster way to massacre our moment of living vicariously through your vacation than by posting a picture that includes … your feet. Unless they belong to a newborn, feet are just unequivocally gross. Stop it.
5. Glasses (or bottles) of wine. We’ve had a Very. Busy. Day. One that has not yet slowed enough to afford us the opportunity to have that glass (or bottle) of wine we so desperately need. So please don’t flaunt yours in our feed.
6. Photos of your sick kids. How would you like it if your offspring crept into your bedroom and played paparazzi while you were three sheets to the wind? (Review #5. Karma’s a bitch.) It’s unfortunate that this even needs to be stated, but here goes: don’t post photos of your children heaving over the toilet! If your kid is puking, YOU SHOULD NOT BE ACTIVE ON FACEBOOK. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE AND HELP YOUR CHILD. And while we’re on subject, please also refrain from …
7. Ten-minute status updates on aforementioned sick kids. If one of them has lost an appendage, ok, post away. Surgeries and ER visits are generally acceptable. But we really don’t need to know that your child’s fever spiked from 100.2 to 100.3 in the few milliseconds since you last uploaded that barfing picture. Believe it or not, we’ve all cared for under-the-weather kids before. Furthermore, lest we forget …
8. Your own sick day photos. If I want to see a Kleenex box perfectly aligned next to a tub of Vick’s and bottle of Tylenol (true story!), I’ll flip through magazine ads in my doctor’s office. If you’re sick, suspend the impromptu photo shoots, get the hell off Facebook and rest up, dammit!
9. An entire memory card worth of photos. Do us all a favor and take a moment to scroll through the 983 pictures you snapped at little Liam’s birthday party, select a few favorites, and leave the rest to our imagination. As opposed to mindlessly uploading 107 shots of the Exact. Same. Thing.
10. What you ate for breakfast.
11. What you ate for lunch.
12. What you ate for dinner. (Just making sure we’ve covered all culinary considerations.) We also don’t need to know …
13. How many Weight Watchers points are in whatever you ate for breakfast, lunch or dinner. (On the other hand, should you manage to create a fabulous new chocolate concoction that contains no calories, then you will have garnered my attention and by all means, post away.)
14. The outside temperature. We all get the weather channel. We all have digital displays in our cars. We are all painfully aware when Elsa’s outstretched hand has cast a record-breaking cold front, or when no rating of SPF will protect us from the scorching heat. Your status update is neither required nor desired.
15. Pictures of injuries (a slight variation on the sick day photo). I recently had a friend who shared images of her bleeding and scabbed up knees after wiping out on a bike ride not once, not twice, but three times in one week. For God’s sake, take up yoga already!
16. Political rants. If I want an Obama Care debate, I will turn on Fox News. When I log in to Facebook, I’m eagerly anticipating photos of my friends’ cherub-faced angels (provided they aren’t sick) and celebrating my pals’ latest milestones (as long as they are not detailed in a busy day list). Please don’t kill my moment of downtime with your take on gun control.
17. Gym selfies. Yes, you are a badass. No, we don’t need to see the sweaty, two-sizes-too-small tank top for you to prove that to us.
18. Cleavage selfies. My kids (and husband) have been known to occasionally look over my shoulder as I scroll. Please keep it clean, Facers.
19. Any post with the word “Facers.”
20. Any post with the word “Peeps.” As in, “Hey, local Peeps.” To be clear, this term should only be used if referring to the Easter candy you gave you kids.
21. Blatant parental self-promotion. No, driving your kids to school in the morning does not earn you a Mother of the Year nomination. Neither does capturing a photo of your child puking (see #6). Yes, parenting is hard work. Suck it up and stop being a bragplainer.
22. Bragplainers. Not everyone can master the fine art of singing your own praises while cleverly disguising it as a complaint. But it usually goes something like, “My kid just got into Harvard, but omg, I’m sooooo bummed because that’s so far away!!”
23. Retail requests. I support you in your endeavors to peddle Jamberry Nails, Party Lite candles and 3D Mascara. Really I do. I just don’t want to buy any of that crap.
24. Any post that begins with the words, “Are you brave enough to change your status for an hour?” I’m just not sure how altering my status helps to cure cancer, accelerate autism awareness or demonstrate my strength of friendship to you. (So no, apparently I am not brave enough.)
25. Any post that prompts a “Keep reading” button. Did you compose a status update or a freaking dissertation? In fact, I’d be willing to bet if Facebook initiated a character count limit like Twitter, this Top 25 list would be unnecessary. Mark Zuckerberg, I hope you’re taking a moment out of your busy day to read this.
Salut tout le monde, j’avais envie de laisser un rapide avis à propos de la mode des jeux en version portable.
Pour être clair, j’ai l’impression que la fluidité s’est totalement optimisé récemment.
Notamment, quand on étudie une plinko app avis, on voit clairement à
quel point l’interface comptent pour retenir le suspense au
top. D’ailleurs, je me demande parfois quelles sont les probabilités concrètes sous toute plinko demo gratuit qu’on choisit sur internet.
C’est devenu extrêmement important de contrôler la licence plutôt
que de miser un peu d’ argent. Personnellement,
je juge que la gestion de son solde demeure le pilier principale pour s’amuser sans avoir des problèmes.
Et vous, pensez-vous que les promos soient véritablement
intéressants dans la durée ? Je suis preneur de
tes meilleures techniques pour choisir le top du site
?
I have seen over the past few months that the transition towards handheld gambling
is absolutely insane. For me, naught beats the ease of spinning some
reels when waiting at a station. Recently, I spent a lot of time exploring the play jonny app since I really care about smooth cashouts and stable apps.
A key point I made is that interactive croupier tables finally look genuine enough to skip the trip to a local house.
Yet, I’ve thought if loyalty programs truly favor the
occasional gambler or only the big spenders. This safety
protocols seem excellent these days, but it’s always smart to remain alert.
Do you folks think the new innovations in virtual reality will
impact how we bet digitally soon? I’d be happy to see the opinions on the
matter.
Credo che ho visto che nel gambling online la dea bendata conti davvero poco,
del resto molti ragazzi bruciano il bankroll perché puntano a caso.
Però, ho letto di recente un articolo molto interessante sito web che spiega benissimo come conti davvero proteggere il proprio budget mantenendo sempre
la calma. Oltre a ciò, ho notato che chi studia le quote riesce spesso se
paragonato a chi, magari, gioca seguendo il cuore. Voi che ne pensate: si riesce davvero
fare di questo hobby un lavoro nella situazione attuale? E secondo voi,
è preferibile giocare le singole o ogni tanto fate
qualche multipla solo per divertimento?
Honestly, this entire betting game scene is highly
unpredictable those days. Personally, I spent ample evenings playing this chicken road app review because it’s actually an great way to see those basic RNG avoiding risking actual money.
One point I keep stays the fact that timing is vital much higher versus blind luck, especially when the player attempt
to scale the advanced ratios. Additionally, every graphical response in this UI might really interfere regarding your emotions if you won’t
stick closely to the planned strategy. That is funny how one basic concept
might feel extremely stressful once this potential go above.
Tell me, do you guys feel how these automated
wagering features actually assist for this long period,
as well as does direct play forever perform stronger?
Which stays one’s primary risk tier when you’re beginning the standard round?
We should debate how to master these paths!
Personalmente, provando svariate siti digitali, ho compreso quanto la
strategia del bankroll risulti decisamente vitale.
Diversi giocatori spesso sottovalutano il dettaglio, mentre
infatti ottenere vantaggi occorre consultare vai al sito allo scopo di comprendere queste dinamiche.
Voi ha mai provato strategie avanzati? Sarebbe importante scambiarsi le diverse idee per ottimizzare il gioco.
Ehrlich gesagt, wirkt es wirklich beeindruckend, wie sehr sich die Deals im Markt für Online-Glücksspiel aktuell entwickelt haben. Früher existierten oft nur einfache Willkommensboni, aber heute sollte man, tatsächlich gezielt nach dem passenden https://dev.yayprint.com/wie-man-den-vegas-hero-no-deposit-bonus-klug-nutzt/ Ausschau halten, um das Maximum aus seiner Session zu generieren. Mein Eindruck ist, dass besonders die Umsatzbedingungen mittlerweile viel maßgeblicher sind als die nackte Höhe des Guthabens, denn was bringt ein riesiger Vegas Hero Bonus, wenn man den Betrag letztlich kaum freispielen kann? Zusätzlich habe ich bemerkt, dass etliche Anbieter extrem kulant mit Freispielen umgehen, was vor allem für Gelegenheitszocker ein genialer Einstieg ohne finanzielles Investment darstellt. Wie seht ihr das, rechnen sich diese speziellen Vegas Hero Bonus Codes tatsächlich oder vertraut ihr lieber auf echtes Echtgeld ohne jegliche Vorgaben? Außerdem würde mich interessieren, ob ihr schon mal Erfolg mit einem Bonus ohne Einzahlung verzeichnen konnte oder bleiben das in der Regel nur kleine Marketing-Tricks? Freue mich auf euren Berichte!
I must say, it is really interesting the way modern casinos have recently changed. I’ve spent a decent amount of time exploring different strategies lately, and a single point I noticed is that discipline is actually way more vital than raw luck. Still, whenever I search for fresh options, I constantly attempt to locate a https://dev.yayprint.com/my-ultimate-guide-on-latest-betting-trends-for-players/ that provides better terms before committing any cash. In my view, the majority of players usually go for huge deficits, which hardly works out successfully. Alternatively, landing a tiny win consistently seems way more rewarding in the long run. Do you guys actually feel the idea that particular periods of day impact the payout rates, or is that simply a story? Plus, which tools can you recommend for remaining within one’s budget during betting?
Personnellement, j’ai l’impression que le paysage des jeux en version nomade a vraiment changé récemment. C’est incroyable de voir à quel point les interfaces sont devenus fluides, notamment si on fait le comparatif avec les outils d’ auparavant. Par exemple, j’ai utilisé dernièrement le portail https://rukorma.ru/analyse-approfondie-propos-de-lapplication-betify-avec-sa-repercussion-pour-le-gaming-nomade-en et aussi mon avis est que la fiabilité est au rendez-vous, ce qui limite les crashs au milieu d’ une mise en direct. De mon côté, l’essentiel demeure la réactivité pour sortir les gains, puisque on déteste attendre trop longtemps pour récupérer ses fonds. Un point que je valide, il s’agit de les cadeaux exclusifs au téléchargement, ça donne un sacré avantage au bankroll. Quant à vous, vous misez via le web mobile ou une application dédiée pour vos sessions ? À votre avis, le chiffrement soit vraiment équivalent partout ? Au plaisir de lire vos avis à ce propos !
Negli ultimi tempi credo che giocare online sia diventato molto più semplice confrontato con ai vecchi tempi, però è fondamentale stare in gamba. Spesso si legge di persone che vincono cifre pazzesche, però dietro le quinte le cose stanno diversamente ed il banco ha sempre un vantaggio. Un giocatore che conosco sosteneva giustamente che impostare un budget rigido sia l’unico modo per evitare guai ed evitare brutte sorprese. A questo proposito, è possibile trovare ottimi spunti https://reveia.net/User:VerlaJ98165 su vari portali specializzati. Del pari, i portali autorizzati offrono ottimi strumenti per tenere tutto sotto controllo, nonostante parecchi li ignorino completamente. Secondo voi: è meglio puntare su slot machine veloci o piuttosto è sconsigliabile esagerare? Quali pensate siano le vostre strategie preferite per non spendere troppo senza pensieri?
Ehilà a tutti quanti, secondo la mia esperienza recentemente girando un po’ tra i vari siti c’è davvero di tutto, ma comunque scegliere una piattaforma davvero seria è sempre un’impresa. Dal canto mio scelgo quasi sempre di leggere con calma tutte le recensioni prima di fare qualsiasi deposito, visto che la protezione dei dati viene prima di tutto. C’è chi sostiene che il betting siano pura fortuna, ma vi garantisco che senza un minimo di studio si rischia grosso. Tra l’altro, se volete approfondire questo interessante approfondimento che trovate https://wiki.sscloud26.com/index.php/Guida_Approfondita_Sul_Settore_Del_Betting_Online_E_Delle_Puntate_Telematiche per capire meglio sulle dinamiche dei pagamenti online. Qual è la vostra opinione su questo argomento? Avete mai avuto problemi con qualche operatore oppure vi siete trovati sempre bene? Fatemi sapere qui sotto così confrontiamo le nostre opinioni.
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://www.facebook.com/mzplay.my/
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://www.youtube.com/@mzplaymy
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://t.me/mzplay_my
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://t.me/Boda8_my
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://t.me/Boda8_Official
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://x.com/Boda8_my
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://www.facebook.com/Boda8Official/
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://www.youtube.com/@Boda8my
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://www.instagram.com/boda8.my
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://x.com/1988richmy
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://t.me/my_1988Rich
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://www.facebook.com/my1988rich/
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://www.instagram.com/1988richmy/
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://www.youtube.com/@1988Rich
Really helpful post. I was looking for exactly this kind of breakdown, and it delivered. I keep a small collection of reference links for projects I follow, and this is going in there.
https://x.com/Mzplaymy
Downloaded the Goa game login app. Pretty easy to get set up and start playing. Nice graphics too. Worth a look! Download now: goagameloginapp
Great to see this covered properly. What you wrote made the whole thing click for me. The structure made it easy to follow without skimming. Thanks again for the effort.
Thanks for the clarity.
Also visit my webpage quick payday loans
beli patung seks https://ms.realsexdoll.com
The slot selection is absolutely massive and I keep discovering new favorites every single week. Every spin feels fair and the bonus rounds are incredibly entertaining. It has become my go to spot for relaxing after a long day. Just pop over to mmluckytigercasino and I promise you will fall in love with the gameplay instantly